end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
