to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
