I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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