wat bout pragnant strippers??
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I could fuck to npr.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
