yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
