Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
