somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
