Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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