i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
