there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
