Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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