there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
