How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
