Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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