I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize