I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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