All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
