I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
