I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
