I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Don't make out with my wife yet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
