do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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