I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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