i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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