this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
