sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
