And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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