we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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