I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
