Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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