Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
