The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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