I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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