he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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