so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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