The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
