is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
