I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
