Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
