hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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