No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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