I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize