i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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