he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
