I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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