I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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