Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
