I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
