You just made me feel so damn special
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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