His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
try to milk me bitch
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
