I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Then you guys just all showered together...?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
