You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dick very happy bro
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
