Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Buhtt sex?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
