She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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