mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
