I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
