dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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