3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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