True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
