she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
