it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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